on waiting

March 19, 2011 at 9:32 pm 5 comments

Humor me, please.  Pretend that it’s Friday.

Why?  Because I want to link up to Lisa-Jo and be a part of 5-Minute Friday.  Each week, she picks a topic, sets a timer (for ONLY five minutes), and writes.  The rules?  No editing.  (Except, I assume for spellcheck.  Or I’m making that my rule, at least!)

And I thought it would be great fun. 

So here we go.  It’s Friday, I’m setting a timer, and I’m writing.  Today’s topic: on waiting.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I’m pretty sure “wait” is one of my least favorite words.  And yet, while I’m often overwhelmed by how transitional and fast my life is right now, I feel like it’s also characterized by a season of waiting.

Waiting to see what I think of my major.  Waiting to see if I get an internship or a job for the summer.  (Waiting to see what it’s like!  If I like the real world!)  Waiting to see what happens with my intended-double-major (news is they’re cutting the department, but somehow shuffling the major around so it stays).  Waiting to see what happens with relationships: which friendships grow and which fade away and which turn into something more.

And I think the worst part of it is the uncertainty.  I hate uncertainty.  So often I’ll think to myself, “If I only knew how this would turn out, then the waiting would be so much easier!” 

Would it really?  (Or would I just be impatient for it to hurry up and get there, already?)

I don’t know. 

I hate the doubts and uncertainty that happen with waiting.  And especially in waiting in the context of a relationship (which I’ve been doing my whole life, you know) – I feel like it would be so much easier for me to relax and trust and enjoy today if I knew where I would be in one, two, ten years with this.  I would love to get married and have a family, someday.  And I like to think it would be easier to wait patiently (because I am in college and I obviously don’t want to get married right now) if I knew that someday it would happen.

But there’s another part of me that thinks I’m missing something.  That patience is teaches me something important, something I could never grasp on my own.  And I should be – and at times, strangely, am – so grateful for it.  And my five minutes are up, so I’ll leave you with this tension in my thoughts – and these precious lines by Russel Kelfer, in his poem (my all-time favorite poem, I might add), “Wait.”

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I’m doing in you.

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Annie  |  March 19, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    i love this post. i, too, hate uncertainty. i think that’s the biggest struggle for me – i think i could handle any verdict, except for the fact that i don’t know what it is, and only God knows how long i will have to wait to know.

    Reply
  • 2. Kim  |  March 20, 2011 at 7:28 am

    Love your post! My favorite line: “That patience is teaches me something important, something I could never grasp on my own. And I should be – and at times, strangely, am – so grateful for it. ” Amen to that! I don’t know that the waiting gets any easier as we get older, and yet each time we grow, we are sharpened, we are better persons for it.
    I read some of your other posts and enjoyed them as well. You have a gift with words, coupled with insight, humor and a humble maturity. Well done!

    Reply
    • 3. overlapped  |  March 20, 2011 at 2:27 pm

      thank you so much for your kind words, Kim. And for visiting! 🙂 Glad to know that we’re all in this learning process together, no matter what stage of life we’re in!

      Reply
  • 4. Eli  |  March 20, 2011 at 10:19 am

    an excellent point — it is so much easier to wait when we know what we are waiting for….

    the not knowing — that leads to the impatience.

    Reply
  • 5. singamelody  |  March 20, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    *sigh* why is waiting so hard? But I think you’re right – even if we knew, we’d either be impatient for it to get here, or disappointed that it’s not what exactly what we wanted…

    This was very wonderful to read just now 🙂

    Reply

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