how to win a house

August 28, 2010 at 4:05 pm 1 comment

The first thing you must do is ignore the childhood rule of “not talking to strangers”.  In fact, you must completely obliterate it and charge up to strangers walking along campus or enjoying peaceable chats in their dorm rooms or apartments.  The extra volume  in your speech that comes with competition and enthusiasm is not really necessary, although I supposed it doesn’t hurt to broadcast what you are doing to the entire university.

So.  You (and preferably a group, so you don’t have to look dumb all by yourself) start with a paperclip.  Then you must run (for you are competing with others), although none of you will have any idea of where to go or what kind of strategy to form in order to continually trade up for bigger and better things.  You accost someone on the street, who will give you a “refreshing tissue”.  But you’ll take it because it’s in it’s own package and is bigger than a paperclip.  You’ll charge into someone else, who won’t have anything with them.  You realize that all the girls going out at night carry little clutches and therefore don’t really have random cool things lying around that they want to give you. 

You may or may not be invited into a party and offered free beer.  You will ignore the invitation, because one rule  is that you must trade for things legal to possess.  You must continue to run in no particular direction, assuming that if you only hurry, you’ll win.  You finally decide that a dorm is the best option, and you sprint to the closest dorm, which will happen to be yours.  You have about twenty minutes left out of the original hour by this point. 

You will bang on random doors and pray that your friends will save you with something cool.  You trade up for a non-scientific calculator, which is definitely bigger and better than a tissue.  You bang on other doors and make a fool out of yourself by begging people you don’t even know and will probably run into all the time now that you’ve charged into their rooms (and made a fool out of yourself).  But one random person gives you a Vera Bradley wallet.  Score. 

And then you will return to eat ice cream and compare trades.  You will discover that there is no limit to things you can trade if you have the courage and strength.  Strength will be a definite plus when you come back with a broken dishwasher, or a working organ.  (There is a reason the organ was traded by a team of all boys).  Luck is also necessary, as it will enable you to trade for a dime, a quarter, a dollar, and finally a real $26 Target Gift Card.  If you do that, you will win the competition.  (The organ gets second place for biggest prize, but since no one really wants the organ/knows what to do with it, the Target gift card wins for best prize).

Later, you can swap the wallet you traded with another girl’s traded umbrella, because you lost yours last week and really didn’t want to spend the money to buy a new one. 

And if you want to be dedicated and take this game to the next level, you can trade things via Craigslist, start a blog, eventually win a house from it, and then write a book about it.

The funtential is there.  What will you do with it?   

(I really did play this last night.  We really did come back with all those things.  I really have no idea what they are going to do with an organ and a dishwasher).


Entry filed under: adventures & misadventures.

Trusting in a World of Fear the post i shouldn’t be writing

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. singamelody  |  August 29, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    That’s a riot! I love it. Sounds like you’re having a blast. I’m certainly curious how they managed to get an organ though… haha!


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