Matthew 10:6-8

September 11, 2009 at 7:08 pm Leave a comment

“Go to the lost, confused people right here in the neighborhood.  Tell them that the kingdom is here.  Bring health to the sick.  Raise the dead.  Touch the untouchables.  Kick out the demons.  You have been treated generously, so live generously.”  (Matt. 10:6-8, The Message). 

Jesus’s charge is to go out among the lost and confused, the broken and empty, and bring the Light of his presence.  We are called to live lives radically abandoned to Him, and to be ambassadors and disciples.  But I so often get tangled up “waiting” for the right time, for when I’ll be free to move to India or something, or start some fantastic ministry, or simply when I’m older and wiser.  Yet this verse could not put it any clearer: my job is not necessarily with people on the other side of the world.  But it definitely is to live where I am today, to find the lost and confused in my own neighborhood.  To help them and encourage them and just live among them as an ambassador.  Jesus calls me to be an ambassador and servant and disciple right now – wherever I am.  And I don’t think it takes any imagination to think about all the empty people on a college campus, especially when you see party-goers whose weekends start on Tuesday. 

A servant should be most concerned with obeying His master.  An ambassador is constantly aware of how he is representing his kingdom.  And a disciple learns and follows so that he may one day be a rabbi just like his teacher. 

And is that how I’m living day to day? 

I am such a pathetically forgetful creature.  With everything I’ve been given, with all the love and life and missions I have to live for, how can I forget every minute why I am actually here and what I am supposed to be doing?  This should blow me away so much that I am intensely focused on Jesus, that I am eternally minded every single second.

And I’m not. 

And He loves me anyway.  Justice is getting what I deserve.  Mercy is not getting what I deserve.  Forgiveness is getting what I definitely don’t deserve.  And love keeps loving when I forget all that. 

He loves me even though I’ve betrayed Him.  He loves me even though I don’t love Him nearly as well as I ought, and even though I don’t live like I should.  He loves me with a fathomless love no matter what.

And my prayer is that I would be more eternally-minded, and that I would focus on all this more.  But even more, I just pray that He would make me ever more aware and alive to this incredible, saving, and redeeming love – and that I would just be filled with it until it overflows.  That I would live generously, loving people because of the way that Christ is loving me.  And being changed from the inside out, being molded ever more into His image.

I don’t feel like I’m saying what I wanted to say.  Dad always tells me that clear thinking leads to clear writing, and so my brain must be very muddled right now.  Or it’s not – but I simply can’t express what I want to; I feel stuck in the barrier of forcing my understandings into the imperfect mold of words.  But maybe you can understand what I mean anyway.  Or give me grace in knowing that the brain of this college student is perhaps not at it’s brightest right now.

~

And the bits and sundry news of my life, beyond the paper I should be working on, is that it’s Friday.  (I know, you didn’t realize that wonderful fact!)  Navigators meeting tonight, and bowling.  My first football game as a student tomorrow.  Possible picnic with my ballet group on Sunday.  Sadness that I can’t do everythingI want and take advantage of most of the incredibly fantastic and exciting opportunities that are waiting for me.  (I.e., the equestrian team I wanted to try out for – weekly lessons!  Shows, if you want!  Fun with people and horses and roomie!  But I’m very much afraid that the more I do, the less I’ll do well or be fully involved in, which probably won’t be as satisfying as being deeply involved in, say, two things and knowing lots of people in those clubs.  And with that kind of I don’t know how much I can commit to equestrian this semester, the $550 price tag was a bit much.  Not if it was my passion, perhaps, because horses are certainly expensive.  But I have many passions, and so this one must take a back seat for the time being.  Slight sadness ensues.  But I thought if I had extra time, I might rather channel weekly lessons into music or something, and pour myself into developing a little bit more in the musical theatre arena.  We’ll see what happens). 

And now I really am going to write that paper – or rather, stare at the screen, feel moved and thus not able to type a coherent sentence, and wonder how I can come up with something beautifully worded that does justice to my topic and helps me keep my grades up so I don’t get kicked out of the honors college.  Right after I take that geology quiz.

grace & love,

Megan

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Entry filed under: college.

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