Outside the zone

August 26, 2009 at 12:00 am Leave a comment

I came across this paragraph in a blog post by Nathan Zacharias over at The Line:

“…there’s something else I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older – when it comes to the growth of your identity, sometimes it’s important to go where no one knows your name.

Certainly we all need a foundation of family and friends to lean on and pour into. I very much believe they play a key roll in helping a person find and stay true to their identity.

But in my life I’ve found that some of the situations where I found out the most about myself were the ones where I was placed around people who didn’t know anything about me, my history, or my family. My identity wasn’t assumed. I couldn’t rely on anything or anyone else. It was up to me to show them who I was.

Circumstances like that can be intimidating, but they can create a lot of personal growth.”

You know, I think this is what I’m learning.  I’m certainly in the thick of it right now!  For the first time in my life, people don’t know where I come from.  They don’t know me as “Katie’s sister”, or know any of my family members.  And quite frankly, they don’t care about the rest of my family (except for the adoring girls who want my little sister!)  All these leaves me – I don’t know, feeling the responsibility, the freedom, the alone-ness of college?  I could reinvent myself if I wanted.  I could stick to my beliefs and God’s commands or let them go.  (Don’t worry, by God’s grace I’ll never do the latter!)  The point is, it’s all up to me to create the person I want to become in college.

That’s kinda cool.  And kinda scary.  And I kinda just want to be back home, in the big kitchen, where my walk to the school room took 15 seconds and not 20 minutes.  Where people knew everything about me, where they knew my family.  Back in my comfort zone.

But I know that I am at college for the experience – the school, the opportunities, and the areas for growth I haven’t had before.  And this is definitely an area for growth: finding out who I am (okay, that made me sound totally New-Agey, or like a hippie going on a journey to “discover myself”….sorry, I just don’t know how to explain myself better!), taking responsibility for my actions, my friends, and my days; plugging myself into good groups that will foster my skills and build relationships.

And I kinda wonder what will happen.  I know it will be for good, even though I really miss people back home: but I just don’t know what, exactly, it will look like in the end.

Entry filed under: college.

and now i am here welcomed

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