the battle

July 13, 2009 at 2:49 am 1 comment

“The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 

I don’t know about you, but I find that to be more true every single day.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about this whole Christianity thing.  How far would I go to defend the name of Christ if I, in fact, was persecuted?  Or could I really trust Him if I wound up in some dangerous situation, or if He stripped my dreams away, or when suffering comes? 

In the song “Yes, I Believe in God”, Rebecca St. James sings, “And I will say to you: mean it death or mean it life, oh, I believe in God.  And through the fire, I’ll be refined.  And if this fire should take this life of mine, I’ll be with Him forever.” 

I’ll be with Him forever.  That’s the kind of faith I want to have; the kind that trusts no matter what, the kind that knows and believes and lives the reality of God.  A reality so strong that they can’t be swayed – no matter what hardships come, God is bigger than them all and will be with us through them all.  He has erased our guilt in life.  And because of Him, there is no fear in death.

Someone who really lives this is a powerful force indeed.  What can they be afraid of?  The greatest point of fear, death, is entirely eliminated.  This doesn’t mean it’s not still hard, but instead of being the end of the world it’s merely the birth of a much more beautiful one, a world beyond all we’ve ever dreamed or wished it could be.

This is the kind of faith my heart longs for.  A faith that is so radiently focused on God that worldly problems fade into their proper places; a faith that is unshakeable.  But the only way to get there is through Jesus.  And the only way to get that close to Jesus is to strip other distractions away. 

Am I willing to do that?  Am I willing to pray that He would strip these things away and allow me to focus on Him alone?

I shrink.  I’m scared.  What kind of suffering would I be inflicting on myself by a prayer like that?  And yet I know that this is what I am meant for.  I am meant – I was created – for this kind of a relationship with God.  This, and only this, will bring me true joy.  This is the only way, to quote John Piper, to not waste my life.

And yet.  And yet.  What must I go through to get there?  I want the end result so badly, but I’m so scared of the journey.  When it comes right down to it, am I really willing to deny everything, to take up my cross, and to follow Him? 

I want it.  I shrink from it.  And I must trust that He who understands the battle between flesh and spirit and sinful human nature will gently guide me to the place where He wants me to be also. 

And I know this isn’t a well-written post – if indeed, I’m talking to anyone other than myself.  Yet when my heart is full I must simply bubble out words to make sense of myself and what I am learning. 

Oh I know there’ll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that’s what it takes to praise You – Jesus, bring the rain. ~ MercyMe, “Bring the Rain”


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Bits and Sundry Sweet Summer

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Aimee  |  July 13, 2009 at 12:46 pm

    Hi just wanted to say this blog’s great


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